Monday, January 9, 2012
Day 6 ~ Monday
and it is time to say, goodbye for now
This was a very hard day. We met with the social worker and even though she said she was “very optimistic” and she was “highly motivated” to get this case processed, she still thinks it will be six more MONTHS before these kids will be able to come home.
She sited that she was on vacation until February 20 (for real?!?!) and could not meet with the kids to get their feelings about this week and she needed to do that before she would be able to finish her report approving us for proceeding with the adoption. She also pointed out they should be finishing the school year as a reason (I guess she doesn’t realize we have schools in NY that takes kids in the middle of a semester…) and the climate differences which would not be so extreme if they came home in the summer and it was all very practical excuses, but our hearts just sank. We went away, appreciative of her efforts, but deeply saddened that it is still going to take so long to bring them home.
I didn’t feel like walking around anywhere, so we went back to our bungalow that we are renting and chatted with our wonderful hosts, Scott and Michelle, who are ex-pats from the States who moved down here last year. It was so refreshing just to sit and talk with adults and just relax for a few hours. We really needed that little break…little did we know how much we needed that break until we went back to Liberty to say goodbye to the kids. After that evening we needed a drink!
AS we mentioned before, every time we go there just about all the kids there run up to us and hang on us and call us “Mom and Dad.” From the beginning this has been emotionally exhausting experience. Now initially our kids didn’t seem to mind, but as the week progressed they started becoming more territorial about us. Shy Miss B (::eyes rolling::) started pulling the others’ hands off of us and declaring that we were HER Mom and Dad and not theirs and the boys just sort of surrounded us to prevent the others from getting too close. While we saw this as a good sign for our kids...it was devastatingly heartbreaking to see the sadness in the other kids’ eyes.
The questions started coming…“when will some one come for me?” and “why didn’t anyone pick me?” What do you say to that? Especially when these children are all older, and many of them have two, three and even four siblings??
As David mentioned in a previous post, we particularly connected with a sibling group here of, believe it or not, five siblings whose ages are close to our kids. Four of them joined us when we took the kids to the water park and every one of them are SUCH sweet spirited kids...shy and thoughtful and tenderhearted...MUCH easier than our wild brood! The nine year old girl L, and her six year old brother, A especially bonded with us, often running to greet us before our own kids. Did I mention they are strikingly beautiful...model gorgeous children? Well that night while saying goodbye, I pulled sweet little L on my lap and she started to cry. She said she loved me and would miss me. I looked her in the face and told her I loved her and would miss her as well. I promised her I would go back home and we would do all that we possibly could to find her a family too. Her brother, A was clutching David, and buried his head in David’s chest and this little boy that was always smiling and giggling was just a sad and solemn little boy. He asked if we would come back for them. We again said we would try and find them a family even better than ours. Miss L thought for about 20 seconds and said…”If you can’t find us another family, then will you come back for us?”
And in this whole wide world, dear sweet child, we would like nothing better than to give all of you beautiful children a home where you will find the love and commitment and encouragement to be all you are destined to be. To add these sweet spirits to the mix here would be an honor and a great pleasure.
But surely there must be another family our there somewhere who would be willing to give these children the same love and commitment and encouragement that they so desperately need! We will need at least a few years to focus on these new five and these children need someone who is willing to step up to the plate NOW!
I’m telling you these five children, two girls and three boys, ages 5,6,9,11,13 are absolutely PRECIOUS and they will bless your socks off. The 13 year old girl is best friends with our Z and she loves to cook. She worked with me that day in the kitchen and she is very shy, but so helpful. When I told her I would try and find a family for them she put her arms around me and just cried. The eleven year old boy is R’s best buddy and he is a tall for his age and is quite the strong, handsome young man with an ever present big grin. Then there is Miss L with the face and the spirit of an angel and who immediately stole our hearts. Then the two younger boys 6 year old, A, who is our Mr. T’s buddy. He has an infectious giggle that gets everyone else laughing whenever you hear it...which is quite often, which gets him going all the more. He is also strikingly beautiful and just eat 'em up adorable. The youngest boy is one of the youngest children there as he only just five years old. His first name also starts with A, and like his siblings he is a very shy, but ever smiling type. He is also all boy and it is so cute to watch this little guy determinedly trying to keep up with all the older boys riding bikes and playing ball.
I have pictures of these kids and several other beautiful children who also need families and I’d love to share more with anyone who is seriously interested. Because our case is a kind of a groundbreaker the process has been inordinately long. In our last meeting we asked the kids’ social worker what time frame families should expect to be able to finish the process. She said that now that now that our family is working out the kinks, (you’re welcome…) the process should take only about one year after your paperwork lands in Belize. Not too horrific a waiting period in the adoption world.
Please pass this info along to anyone who you feel might be interested in considering an older child or siblings. The blessing is waiting right there for them.